Elle

My 2020 book highlights and lowlights (and some pretty awesome book quotes)

I read 200 books in 2020!  Wow!  That’s the most I’ve ever read, and kicks ass on my goal of 120.

Some of my favourite quotes from 2020:

So far the day had been a can of crap served steaming hot with a sauce of fuck-my-life.
~ Family Camp by Eli Easton

“Come on, close, close, close,” I chant, now wishing I was Magneto so I could force the doors to work to my will. Or you know, just like destroy everything because I would be Magneto and I would be awesome, but obviously a less dicky version of him.
~ Hidden in Darkness by Alice Winters

So, yeah, to be honest, serial killer porn wasn’t as unappealing as you might think. As long as there were no clowns involved. I was desperate, but a man had to have some standards.
~ The Husband Gambit by L A Witt

But fortunately I didn’t have to pick one reason and one reason only, and I could absolutely hate him for an entire laundry list of reasons. Seriously that man could eat a dump truck full of rotting hairy donkey dicks.
~ The Husband Gambit by L A Witt

“Oh,” he said, shocked, and a slight flush colored his cheeks. “I…oh.”
“I’d like to buy a consonant now, please,” Cooper said.
~ Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing by Charlie Adhara

So I just beam at him, which makes his eyebrows knit and his eyes narrow. He hates visual affection from me, but he’s gonna get it. He’s gonna get it so hard. It’s going to be like affection juice all over him.
~ How to Vex A Vampire by Alice Winters

“‘Stay away! No, Finn! I can’t live without you, where are you going?’” I mock.
“I regret and take back everything I’ve said in the past ten minutes.”
My eyebrows knit in clear concern. “What? No takebacks.”
His eyes narrow as he shakes his head slowly, like he’s disappointed in me. “It’s been taken back so hard.”
I can’t help but jump right into a joke. “Ooh, I like hard things. How hard?”
“So damn hard.”
“Like penis hard?”
“Harder.”
“Ooh. You wanna… show me how hard?”
He’s now fighting off a grin, but failing. “I don’t think you can handle the hardness of it.”
“We could sure try because I know how to handle the hard. I’m just not sure you’re up to the task, ya know? I mean, you are pretty old. Does your…” I glance down at his groin. “Pickle still work?”
“Don’t call it a pickle.”
“Cucumber?”
“Don’t compare my penis to food.”
“Inchworm?”
“Now you’re just being difficult.”
“Penetrating schlong.”
“I have never begun and ended a relationship so quickly in my entire life.”
~ How to Vex A Vampire by Alice Winters

They knew nothing about each other, but here he was, promising shit he probably couldn’t deliver, because Sionn was probably the type of guy who rescued dragons from maidens and helped trolls with their goat infestation.
~ Whiskey and Wry by Rhys Ford

We stare at each other, and his curious eyes almost have me blurting my sexuality all over him like a unicorn vomiting rainbows.
~ Spotlight by Eden Finley

I’ve never seen the point of fancy dress parties. You have two choices: either you make a massive effort and wind up looking like a dick, or you make no effort and wind up looking like a dick. And my problem, as always, was not knowing what kind of dick I wanted to be.
~ Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall

The conversation hadn’t so much died on us as been taken out back and shot in the head.
~ Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall

My shirt and waistcoat were a ruin of purple ink, my hands worse. My face felt wet, and when I wiped the inside of my wrist across it, I came away with a smeary indigo bracelet. I turned my head and met Darian’s wide eyes.
“You look like you ’ad it off wif a Ribena or summin.”
~ Glitterland by Alexis Hall

“Did you just draw a direct comparison between you being a bit rude at a wedding and Peter’s denial of Jesus Christ?”
“I . . . might have gone too far there.”
“You think?”
“Well, I’m an atheist. They’re both just characters in a book I haven’t read.”
~ Glitterland by Alexis Hall

Well. I hadn’t been expecting that. Especially not when I felt—and probably looked—like I’d been shat out by a gastrically distressed camel.
~ How to Bang a Billionaire by Alexis Hall

Everything I’d heard or read about breaking into journalism suggested you had to be persistent and thick-skinned and initiative-taking. So, now I thought about it, not an ideal career choice for me, since I would really have flourished in an industry that rewarded people who were flaky, sensitive, and lackadaisical.
~ How to Bang a Billionaire by Alexis Hall

And that was before the meal had even properly started. I didn’t think my bouche had ever been so comprehensively amused.
~ How to Blow it with a Billionaire by Alexis Hall

There wasn’t anything to argue about. But holy quiet resentment, Batman.
~ Until the World Stops by L A Witt

He’s not a delicate orchid that only blooms under the most perfect conditions. He’s a fucking dandelion. He’ll burst through cement cracks on his reach for the sun. He’ll get stepped on and crushed, and his petals will reform, and he’ll survive off scraps and drought.
~ Heartbeat Repeating by E M Lindsey

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